Early on in my Psychology degree I had a beloved professor who told me to go “write my own theory” since I disagreed with the “Fathers of Psychology.” What I did not know then was that it was not the theory I completely disagreed with (although most was total BS) but the patriarchy itself. I resented men telling me who, what and how I should do things. As I age, I like it even less. I suppose I resent any notion of limitation placed on us by those who deem they are all knowing because society has decided they are successful.
During my Psychology studies, you had the Pavlov’s of the world who could predict human behaviour with a ring of a bell (aka the entire social media system) to Freud who was obsessed with oral fixation and his penis (I will leave those parallels for you to draw but one peak into the dark web and you see where we have ended up). Nevertheless, very little of the Psychology theories addressed what it was like to be a divine feminine being, anything that was traditionally “feminine” was labelled as disorders. Yes, even PMS was labelled a psychological disorder worthy of a category in the DSM IV (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders). Thirty years ago, as I began my study I felt there had to be better answers and understanding to the creative spirit.
Discovering Humanistic Psychology and Abraham Maslow and the theory of love and belonging felt closer to truth. To be human(istic) is to have empathy and through empathic listening we can discover we hold all the truth inside. Ironically, Abraham Maslow died in SILICON VALLEY before he completed his work on self transcendence. Ironically, the very conditions of Silicon Valley is to eliminate empathy in favour of behaviour conditioning; which can create revenue generating behaviour predictability in our technology. Courses at Stanford teach the next generation of bros about control and control methods to their design. The causal effects of behaviour conditioning show up in our neighbourhoods and communities all over the world and not for the better. Sadly, it is not a surprise how much this has divided us from our neighbours, friends and colleagues.
Creatives are often empaths, which is very diametrically opposite food for the Egoic masculine energies of the world. Hence why so many empaths feel under attack emotionally in today’s world. It is WHY the patriarchy has had a free breeding ground for hundreds of years. Our empaths of the world have been lost to addiction, suicide, persecution and violence. The very counterpoint of the spirit which has been couched as “demonic” is the very thing we seek the most. It is truly ironic when you think about it. The very love ALL humans seek lives in the creative spirit the very energy we have been attempting to snuff out and control. See Canary In A Coal Mind: Part 1 for those references.
The fathers of Psychology used their head perpetually to solve problems while discrediting much of the intuition. The creative spirit as being predominantly “feminine” and not measurable. After all, how do you run a control experiment with a spirit or without a spirit and see how each one prevails?! Impossible to do, so it was greatly ignored. Even now, many modern scientists or what we call “geniuses” struggle to give anything unknowing outside their own mind credit. “I am man hear me roar,” “only ME can solve x, y, z.” In fact, we praise white men so much for their genius that we completely overlook all the other horrible awful shit they do…why? Because they our saviour’s after all and who doesn’t love a messy superhero?
As a young survivor of trauma and an opinionated student of Psychology 30 years ago I thought: “That ‘feminine’ intuition most likely kept your dumb ass alive.” Freud turned his reverence for a mother into sexual proclivity because he himself lacked the very power of our divinely feminine power (which is not about gender but lives freely in the creative spirit, creatives vibrate at this high feminine level). Historically, this creativity was called “evil.” Hence, why so many great artists could only paint Jesus and Christianity. Many burned at the stake just for being different. Many great artists hid their true sexual preference and desires, labelled “different”, actual laws making it illegal to be gay! Absurd. All of this often at the hands of these Psychology academics and religion leaders who lacked the depth of understanding by denying part of the self…almost all of it relates back to contempt of divine femininity.
Note here: Femininity is neither “male or female.” It is the inner knowledge of believing, trusting and understanding your intuitive spirit. It lives often in creative using creativity as the landscape for its beautiful inventions and expression. It is deeply knowing that “divine femininity” is here to heal, bring love and light. That is how I define it here. There are other ways to describe it but after 30 years of study this feels like the best distinction. Divine masculine energy often lives in logic, in the thinking part of the being. Those who rely on their own knowledge over any intuitive part of their being. It often overtakes the being in strength and is not known for “collaboration.” It is a necessary part of the being but in our current culture it is an overused muscle.
Early on in my journey I was part of programs for troubled youth, most could either a) not figure out how to “save” me or b) they conveniently gave me labels to scare me out of my behaviour. Everything felt so fatalistic, perpetual and unending. I just could not shake the feeling that there had to be MORE to understand. For most of my life I have analyzed what has worked, what made sense and how we can fully heal. I was never fully satisfied with one definition, one pathway or one theory of human evolution. Instead, I pulled pieces from the entire human fabric of understanding to create Ahava. The Hebrew word for love.
For the better part of 30 years, I have been writing my own theories on how humans make decisions, how we heal and how we solve real problems that plague our world. At the core of that pursuit I find myself here at the cross section of finance, tech and creativity. The holy grail of 3. I believe we are at a crossroads of truth. I do believe uncomfortable truths are upon us and at no other time in history do I feel it is more imperative to call upon my fellow Esther’s (again neither male nor female). Esther is the symbol of knowing YOU, just you, and to know YOU were born for such a time as this. That is what it means to be an Esther. See my calling card thread on twitter for that explanation:
That story we have told ourselves over and over, we must begin to ask: is it serving you NOW? Not when you were a kid, not the you in the future, the you of today. If the answer is NO…then it is time to get to work. So like the 5 bets the patriarch makes on you, here are the 5 bets you need to change for yourself:
1. You do not need a saviour (other than your own personal God/Universe). It is You and this spirit you were born with, that’s it. All you will ever need, all you will ever need to know and understand, is buried deep in the infinite well of you. It is found within and definitely not in your thinking brain.
2. Get fucking uncomfortable. If you have been living your life but yet you feel this deep well beneath you that is urging you forward…get back to step one. That is your spirit calling you to get uncomfortable.
3. Admit fully to yourself that in most likelihood you are a codependent. Just take a breath here at that statement. Just let it soak in. If you are not living in your addictions you most likely oscillate between that and codependency of some kind. Society has abandoned feelings for thinking. We all have unresolved OLD pain. Pain before your 10th birthday. When you have an emotional response as an adult it pulls from that OLD pain bucket…you will either pacify your pain(addiction) or use humans to pacify it (codependency).
4. You have been fooled. Know this to be true. If anything has been confusing, not clear, you stayed and keep staying at the same party but nothing has changed. Yep. That is the mitote. Where there is confusion, there are thieves. See Toltecs, Homer Odyssey and a slew of other examples. If you are unconscious in your own life, someone is stealing your money, your time (which is your money) and you have drank some other Kool-aid.
5. Money. This one is a hard one. The Christians tell us it is evil. In the Torah, it is a blessed part of God. So much of religion has made its stains on money which ultimately is about control. We either hate it, fear it or love it too much. We either chase it or blow it. Either way, we give money power. Rendering it the ultimate drug of choice for humanity.
Becoming Esther
After our pain, after we face our trauma we must rise to the occasion and claim our inner Esther. That is the all knowing, intuitive part of your being. You were born with it. It is neither male nor female. It is your creative spirit born for such a time as this. Our world is in a spiritual crisis. We are at war with each other over…EVERYTHING. It is time to heal and it requires the season of Esther. Please see my twitter post pictured for all things Esther.
To let go of the past requires a daily practice of surrender. To welcome the dawn we must let go. Often it is letting go of the past, people and relationships that may have served us at one point but no longer serve you now. For creatives our greatest dysfunction is not saying goodbye when we really know we should. We believe if we love more and stay longer things will change. It usually only hurts the creative. Begin the journey of your inner Esther. You were born for such a time as this. Let’s get moving!
